FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Randomize
