I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Is Oprah even human
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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