Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
