is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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