i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
