I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
Randomize
