Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
You know its going to be a good day when you have to brush your teeth out of a cup in your room using the vodka and water mixture in your fridge because you're locked out of your restroom
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
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