he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize