Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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