That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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