I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
