listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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