If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
