You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
