Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
