Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
fuck your aforementioned shoe
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
