I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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