The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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