Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Randomize
