My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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