i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
