You really coming over, don't trick.
You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
Randomize