you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
