the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
