every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
