Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
