you have to choose: penises or morals?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Randomize
