yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
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