WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
