i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
This is the high leading the old right now
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Randomize
