no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize