found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
