We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
