im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Randomize