I got chris browned last night
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
