I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
