I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I faked an abortion last night.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
