I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
Randomize
