Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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