bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
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