In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
