We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
