i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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