I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
You dont lie about slip and slides
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
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