Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Randomize
