as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
