Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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