Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
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