We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
porn star boner night. come get it.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
True strength comes from lack of pants
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Randomize
