We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
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