i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
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