i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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