you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize
