i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Walk of Shame today included voting.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
