so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
