well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
