ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I wish i was in the wii world.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
Randomize
