I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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