You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
cat food counts as protein by the way
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Come share oat with me in your robe
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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