I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
