See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
