There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
