She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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