I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
