The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Randomize
