omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
