Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
